


Fragile

by Polomonkey



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, High School, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5809720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polomonkey/pseuds/Polomonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's gone too far this time and Merlin isn't going to let him off that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Merlocked18](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlocked18/gifts).



> Inspired by Merlocked's [lovely art](http://merlocked18.tumblr.com/post/135664811568/modern-au-arthurs-been-a-right-git-at-school-and) (and prompt) of a stressed out Merlin. Thank you for all your wonderful contributions to the fandom Merls!
> 
> Warning for brief alcoholism reference

When Merlin opened the door to find Arthur standing on the other side, he was sorely tempted just to slam it shut again. 

Arthur had been unforgivably mean today, worse than he’d been in ages. Merlin thought they were past all that now; those first few weeks of antagonism at the start of sixth form when they didn’t know quite what to make of each other. It hadn’t taken them long to discover all the things they had in common and they’d been friends for nearly a year now. Sure, they still argued semi-constantly, but they never really meant anything by it. Or at least that’s what Merlin had always thought. Now he wondered if he’d been kidding himself all along. 

Their relationship was built on banter and most of the time Merlin loved it. But sometimes the teasing had too much of an edge. Arthur’s jokes could cut a little too deep. And on days like this, when he was feeling more fragile than usual, it just plain hurt.

He doesn’t really remember what they were arguing about in the library, just that he had suddenly grown tired of the way Arthur was needling him. 

“God, you’re in a mood,” he said and Arthur’s mouth set in a hard grim line.

“That’s ‘cause you’re doing my head in today. I’m sick of the sight of you.”

It was the harshness of his tone that stung, more than anything. Arthur had said worse things as a joke, but this one sounded like he meant it, and Merlin was surprised at how hurt he felt. He could see that Arthur instantly regretted it, but he could also see that he wasn’t going to take it back. A lump formed in Merlin’s throat and he swallowed it, simultaneously furious and on the verge of tears.

“Fine,” he said thickly. “I’ll get out of your way then.”

Arthur opened his mouth, as if about to stop him, and then snapped it closed again. And he didn’t try to stop Merlin as he walked out.

They avoided each other the rest of the day. Merlin moved to sit next to Mordred in History and Arthur sat next to Val, after some hesitation. He could feel Arthur staring at him in class, but he didn’t say a word.

Merlin had been brooding about it since he got home; he couldn’t seem to stop. Did Arthur even really like him? Did he value their friendship at all? Or had he only been tolerating Merlin all this time, keeping him around because there was no-one better? 

These thoughts weren’t entirely fair to Arthur, but Merlin was tired of being fair to Arthur. Would it kill him to apologise for once in his life? Or just take Merlin’s feelings into account occasionally?

Well if he thought Merlin was just going to smile and pretend everything was fine like he always did, he had another think coming. When Merlin opened the door, he kept his face blank, and he made no attempt to invite Arthur in.

“Hey Merls,” Arthur said hesitantly, like he wasn’t sure that nickname was welcome right now.

“What are you doing here?” Merlin said flatly. “I thought you were sick of the sight of me.”

Arthur flinched.

“You know I didn’t mean that.”

“Clearly I don’t know,” Merlin shot back. “I’m not a mind reader. You sounded like you meant it.”

“Look, I’m… I’m sorry okay?”

“Great. Thanks. Is that all you came to say?”

“Merlin, please.”

Arthur ran his hand through his hair, and it wasn’t the affectation it usually was. He looked genuinely dismayed and that surprised Merlin. Arthur never usually showed any emotion over things like this. It always felt like Merlin was the one who got all worked up while Arthur coolly looked on from the side-lines.

“Can I just come in for a minute?”

“I’m busy,” Merlin said, trying to stiffen his resolve and ignore how big and pleading Arthur’s eyes were.

“Please just let me explain, and then I’ll go,” Arthur said humbly.

Merlin could feel himself weakening. He’d imagining squaring up to Arthur in prat mode, refusing to admit he’d done anything wrong, but this Arthur seemed weirdly subdued and guilty.

Wrong-footed, Merlin found himself nodding. Arthur followed him inside to the living room and they both perched uneasily on the couch.

“So… I’m sorry I was a dick. I was in a really bad mood because of… stuff… and yeah. Didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

Merlin drew a pattern on his knee. It was hard to be assertive but he’d never say it again if he didn’t say it now.

“It’s fine, it’s just… you can be a bit harsh,” Merlin said in a rush.

There was a short silence.

“Oh,” Arthur said eventually. “Like when…”

“Just when we’re talking and stuff,” Merlin muttered, picking at the couch. “And sometimes I feel…”

He trailed off, embarrassed.

“What?”

“Like you don’t really like me,” Merlin said quietly. “Like I just annoy you or something.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath.

“Of course I like you,” Arthur said, and he sounded upset. “Jesus, Merlin, I like you more than I like almost anyone else.”

That was news to Merlin. He glanced at Arthur, suddenly worried he was taking the piss. But Arthur looked entirely sincere and slightly distressed.

“I can’t believe you thought that.”

“I don’t always know what you’re thinking,” Merlin said with a little helpless shrug. He was a bit amazed at how seriously Arthur was taking this.

“Well… well I guess I’ll try harder from now on,” Arthur said.

Merlin nodded and they were quiet for a moment. 

“So you’ll tell me what was wrong today?” Merlin asked.

He didn’t want to pry but at the same time it was so hard to get anything personal out of Arthur. Sometimes he felt like he had no idea what was going through his friend’s mind.

“Today? Oh just, you know, family stuff,” Arthur said uncomfortably and Merlin tried not to feel disappointed. He couldn’t force Arthur to open up if he didn’t want to; that wasn’t fair.

But some of his feelings must have shown on his face because Arthur shifted in his seat and let out a little sigh.

“I think my dad is drinking again,” he mumbled. 

Merlin sucked in a breath. He knew of course, everyone knew, but Arthur had never talked about it before… 

“I tried to ask him at breakfast and he got really mad and he said-” 

Arthur broke off, and the look on his face made Merlin ache a little.

“He said he was sick of the sight of me.” 

_Oh._

“I’m really sorry,” Merlin said, meaning it. Arthur didn’t deserve to hear that from his own father; no-one did.

“No, don’t- I’m not making excuses. I shouldn’t have said the same to you.”

Arthur gave a painful smile.

“Maybe I’m just a chip off the old block.”

“No,” Merlin said softly. “You’re really not.”

Arthur leaned back into the sofa cushions, looking reflective.

“I hope not,” he said and then he cut a sidelong look at Merlin. “I hated us not talking,” 

“Arthur, it was like five hours.”

“Five hours too long,” Arthur said and he still looked a tiny bit sad.

“You mean Val didn’t offer up any scintillating observations in History?” Merlin said cheekily, hoping to jolly Arthur along.

It worked. Arthur groaned dramatically.

“He asked me if Hitler won the Cold War and then he drew a dick on JFK. Truly I was in the presence of genius.”

“How can I ever compare?” 

Arthur grinned and reached out to mess up his hair.

“Nothing compares to you, Merls.”

And Merlin beamed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
